EPISODE 3 — CHANGING MY MIND - The Red Room 🎙️

Your next level often requires you to become uncomfortable.

“Welcome to Chapter Three: Changing My Mind.There's a version of me in this chapter sitting in a university lecture room absolutely terrified.I was surrounded by people I thought were more intelligent, more educated and more deserving of being there than me.But I stayed.And that decision changed far more than my education.It changed what I believed was possible for me.I've learned since that growth often starts with a room you don't feel qualified to enter.So if you're currently thinking, ‘Who am I to do this?’ perhaps the better question is:Who could I become if I stay in the room?Welcome to Changing My Mind.”

Welcome to The RED ROOM.A space for Resilient, Empowered and Driven women who are ready to have the conversations that often happen behind closed doors.

I’m Carla Chatburn — founder, franchisor, mentor, wife and mum — and after more than two decades in business, I’ve learned that success is never just about what you build.It’s about who you become while building it.Here in The RED ROOM, we talk about the real stuff here is your free IP

And that’s another conversation from The RED ROOM.

A room for Resilient, Empowered and Driven women — where we share the stories behind the success, not just the highlight reel.If something from today’s conversation stayed with you, don’t just listen to it — do something with it. https://info.confidentbeautytherapist.co.uk/

Chapter 3 Changing My Mind The first time that I went to a lecture at the University of Central Lancashire, I was absolutely pooping myself. I had just enrolled in my teaching degree course, but I wasn't prepared for how anxious I would feel on the first day. Even though I put on my confident face, deep down I was terrified. My anxiety was sky high, I was sweating, and I was the only beauty therapist in that lecture room full of lawyers, nurses, teachers, and other professionals. I felt like I was so out of my debt.

What am I even doing here? Back to school. Let's rewind. Only two months before, I had opened my own salon in Accrington, Lancashire. However, I had quickly realized that I'd been naive to think that you can run a business on your own. You've got to ask for help. I very quickly got to the point where I needed to hire a qualified therapist, but I couldn't afford one. So my only option was to hire an apprentice and run an apprenticeship program. But I didn't want to run just any program. I wanted it to be the best.

If I was going to train people in the beauty industry and have them work in my salon, they had to be better educated than I was, and have a better education and support system that I'd ever have. When I'd been an apprentice, there was a lot that got missed, and you might feel the same if you've been there too. During my apprenticeship, no one ever taught me how to run my salon or anything about roles and responsibilities of leading a team. I was never taught how to manage my money mindset or confidence or to have the courage for when things went wrong.

Some of the programmes were just opportunities for cheap labour disguised as an apprenticeship. I wanted my apprentices to feel part of the business. You have to feel like you have opportunities and a path to grow, don't you? And at the end of the day, I knew I couldn't grow my business without them. So I had to give them everything they needed to be the best they could be. But how do you do all of that? Where do you even start? How do I even teach someone properly? I've never even taught before.

To give my learners the best possible outcome, I had to learn how to teach. So I put myself on that course. However, as I sat in that lecture room, I felt completely out of place. I had never felt good enough to be in a room with those people, or even thought I was good enough to start a degree. I felt like I was unworthy, surely I didn't deserve to be in this environment with all these intelligent people. I was just a brutal therapist. I felt like I didn't have anything to add to the conversation, but I was a great listener and observer, and so I did what I did best.

You could call it my survival technique to get me through that entire learning experience. Anything that I didn't understand, I would note down, run and ask Google when I got home. Even though I was quite naive, I am a curious person, and I wanted my journey to be so different to what I had as a child, so I got on a hamster wheel of sheer education and knowledge. I may have felt like I didn't belong in that room, but here I was, right now, and I was gonna learn as much as I could. When I went into the beauty industry, I was seen as a bit of a bimbo that just files nails, and I did live up to that.

If that's how I was perceived, why fight against it? But I think too many women feel like that. And that kind of thinking limits your future potential. I didn't know it at the time, but I had so much fire in me to reach for more. Getting this degree was something that I had to achieve, and I'm so glad that I did because it changed my future. Investing in your people. There are so many different routes to take to get into beauty. Some people just want to be a one-man band. And I work with so many people in my salon who aren't on my payroll, but are self-employed.

However, I knew early on that I wanted more. I wanted that nice car and that big house. And I knew I had to go bigger. If I wanted to take my business to the next level, I had to update my knowledge, take on the roles and responsibilities of an employer, and become an authority figure. I never went into the industry to be a leader. I still struggle to see myself like that even today. I was very much a submissive person and I just wanted everyone to be happy. However, I soon realized that to grow a successful business you have to learn certain qualities.

And by that way, I didn't know at the time that this is what I had to do. Everything that I was doing at this point was instinctive and unconscious. I was just following my belief on how to be a good beauty therapist. So don't feel like you're doing anything wrong if your path isn't clear yet. I took on an apprentice halfway through my degree because I needed the support in the salon, but I also needed to demonstrate competence in delivering what I was learning. You don't know what you don't know.

And it really shocked me to see how much work went into educating someone. All the legal implications, all the work, observations, and documentation that you need in order to ensure that a learner gets what they need. It's a business in itself. I was exposed very quickly to the different learning styles and how different personalities clash with these learning styles. And I formed a strong understanding of how important clear and honest communication was. Within the first year of opening my salon, and because the client demand was so exceptional, I ended up taking on two apprentices.

However, I soon realized that I had to change the way I thought about working with people. When you become an employer, there are always three people in a beauty relationship you, your employee, and the client. We are all people pleasers in this industry. So when it comes to asserting ourselves or following up or following through policies and procedures, we struggle. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings, and that obstacle was a massive eye-opener for me. Not only will you have to manage clients' expectations, but you also have to manage your teams and your own.

You have to work hard at building up that respectful relationship so that your apprentices and your staff feel comfortable asking the stupid questions, which I absolutely love. I love the stupid questions because that's how I learnt. I encourage my apprentices to ask for pay rises and step out their comfort zones without being fearful of the consequences. If you ever take on an apprentice, you will soon learn that everyone has different drivers and motivators in their careers. Some people are driven by money and targets, and some people aren't.

I was so shocked and it was a real mind block for me. I thought everyone was driven by money. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. And I had to learn how to motivate my team in other ways that weren't around money. I was always asking how can I make my apprenticeship program better? How can we help our staff so that they don't feel X, Y, and Z? I don't ever want anyone to feel worthless or unimportant. So I was really open and honest with my team about everything. If they had a question about sales or the numbers or marketing, I told them.

I would tell them where the money was going and they all knew the reasons behind the decisions I made. Doing it like this meant that I could build a team of open and honest beauty therapists who could support each other even when I wasn't there. I wanted to make sure that even though I was running a business, I was still accommodating their needs because you don't have a business without your team. And if you're not harming anyone, then try it. If somebody wants to develop in the business, find a way to give them the opportunities.

If somebody wants to earn more money, then find a way to get them more responsibilities and new job roles. And if somebody only wants to work part-time, find a way that would work well for them and the business. It's just about being curious and exploring different avenues. I wanted to create a very clear path for anyone who worked with me and where they could grow with me and my business, rather than leave. It was a case of having a train and retain mindset. But that doesn't mean that you won't have challenges as you grow.

Once I hit a stumbling block where one of my team members, who I had spent a couple of years working with, who was also one of my first apprentices, wanted to leave to go travelling. I found myself getting upset, obviously, business is business, and I quickly had to learn to keep the two relationships very, very separate. I wished her well and said, Go and spread your wings, but if you ever come back, my door will always be open, and I meant it. A business should always accommodate its people and not the other way around.

So she went abroad, but as soon as she got back, she got in touch and said, I want to come back. Do you have any positions for me? At that time I couldn't give her a position because there wasn't enough client demand. But she was worth investing in. I already trusted her, I already knew about her work ethic, I knew her personality and what her main drivers were, so I said how about you open another salon with me? I'll fund it all, you just go away and make it your own. Are you up for the challenge?

Now at that point I had no idea how I was going to pay for it. You might think I'm mad, but I took a big risk in investing in her and in opening a second location, but it all paid off. And that became our pure perfection salon number two. Worst case scenario, if it didn't work, I would put myself in the Clitheroe salon, my second salon. But then I had the confidence to build a client base and train someone else up. I also had another therapist who was doing above and beyond. Her clients were flying in and she was growing financially and personally.

So I felt confident leaving her in the salon with a new management role. If I needed to go to the second salon, I could have done. Loyalty is a big thing for me, and I knew she was worth investing in. It is priceless to have people that you can trust who you've built strong relationships with. And if you have someone in your business that's loyal and respectful of policies and procedures, they are like gold. Investing in people in this way means that you'll have a team around you that you can trust to deliver the services you want them to do.

It will give you the freedom to take risks and think about building the business. But also it will give you the freedom to not feel so alone when you're building your business. Relationships drive with the beauty industry. If you don't have a good relationship with your clients or your staff, it's very easy for them to go elsewhere. In business, the ROI, I didn't figure out what that meant, return on investment, until 10 years later. It isn't always financial, it can be relationship-based. I invest in my staff, and I got a return on my investment, and they got out what they wanted from the situation as well.

We work in such a lovely industry that nothing can go wrong if we treat people with kindness and compassion. Be true to yourself and you will attract the right people that are like you. Invest in yourself. Changing my mindset around education and people has been one of the biggest and best lessons I have ever had. We're not robots, we've got to learn somehow. And this process of changing the way I thought took many years and lots of mistakes. I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself when I was studying.

I was my own worst critic. But at that time it was my choice to go on the course and it enabled me to have the life I have now. So, when you choose to invest your time, invest in what's important to you. I know I had to invest in my own education because I had very, very little knowledge in terms of what I needed to do in order to move forward. I knew I had to invest in people because without them I wouldn't have a business. It was a more intuitive, more instinctive way of working. Probably not something you would expect, but it worked for me.

And if it's a style you like and you think it will work well for you, then go and try it. There really is no right and wrong way. You can only try something and see if it works. If things don't happen the first time, it doesn't mean that you're a failure. I had to do a lot of work on changing my limited beliefs, changing my processes and policies, and changing the way that I communicated with people. If I had to break down the past 20 years of my career, I have not got a clue how I've ended up in this position.

However, the only thing I can say to anyone who is striving for success, which is personal to everyone, is to take baby steps because nothing is going to happen overnight. And it really is taking one step at a time. Building that confidence and then exploring different options. Success is different to different people and everyone measures it differently. So it really does depend on what you want out of this career and what does success mean to you. Core beauty tips. Number one, explore non-traditional routes of education.

I reached out to government support networks and found funding for half a degree and then used all my business profits that I made that time plus a small personal loan to fund the rest. Again, it wasn't a normal path for a university programme, but that was the only way I could do it. And then I worked six days a week, nine till nine, to pay it all off. Find a way to take the night course, do weekend or evening work. There is night school and there is further education courses. You can even shadow someone, you can volunteer.

I can't give individual advice if you've got dependents and bills to pay. But for everyone, there will always be small baby steps that you can take. Number two, be uncomfortable. If you want to become the best you can be, there will be times where you will put yourself in uncomfortable positions. What is the worst thing that can happen? There's absolutely nothing that can go wrong. What that you can't come back from? What is the worst thing that can happen? There's absolutely nothing that can go wrong that you can't come back from.

And people have no place in criticizing you if you're trying. Number three, keep learning. I've been intimidated by more knowledgeable entrepreneurs, and I've been inspired by what companies do and the stories that you hear on social media. Stay open-minded and remember that what you see is only the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more that you don't know and can learn. Number four, build a supportive network. There can be clients or people you meet at networking events. I was always frightened of not feeling good enough to be in a social circle of entrepreneurial people.

However, I went in with the mindset of what can I learn from those people? Not just in the beauty industry, but in any industry. Number five, understanding people. Do your research, read a couple of books on leadership skills, and learn how to best support different personalities and the wants and needs of people.